So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
