Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize