and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Don't you send me to vm
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
