You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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