May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
You smell like a Billy Joel song
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
