Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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