So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
