shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
