I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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