So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
