you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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