pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
