Whoa Z and x make the same sound
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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