found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
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Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
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I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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