im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Randomize
