Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize