I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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