I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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