My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
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