turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
