Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
