We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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