at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
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