I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
