I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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