I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
