Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
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