By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
