I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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