How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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