you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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