I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Randomize
