is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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