oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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