I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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