So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
