you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
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