She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
