you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Welp...herpes.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
There's always time for handjobs
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
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