i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
