I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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