I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
