Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
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