Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
