ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
