Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Randomize
