But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
