My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
