Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
