Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
