Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
