I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
