i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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