You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
