So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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