Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
