drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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