hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
