we have pet lesbian snakes
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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