So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Dignity is for republicans.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
