Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
