yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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