I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
