I wannas sexs uuuuu
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Randomize
