We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
